Sunday, May 2, 2010

Truth U wish you'll know when Dating years back

At 31, dating blogger Erin Meanley looks back and shares her dating truths she wishes she had known ten years earlier when she was 21.

Every age or relationship we learn something, Sometimes we just wish we could know earlier @lovelifesecret

By Erin Meanley

[Editor's note: Erin Meanley is the female half of the Glamour.com dating blog, Single-ish. This is an excerpt from that blog.]


I never realized how many opinions I have about dating. I've been dating so long I'm like an octogenarian who feels overly strong about what strawberries should cost or how children should act in public. Anyway, here are some things I've learned in my 31 years, and what I wish I'd known about dating ten years ago:

1. If you're confused about whether a guy likes you or not, that's probably not good. Confusion in romance belongs only in romantic comedies because it suspends the plot, but suspense in real life sucks. So try not to analyze the events. The truth will reveal itself without you having to do anything.


2. Sometimes guys flirt with you or pay attention to you because it makes them feel good about themselves. (Hey, we do it, too.)

3. Even a guy who will admit that you're better looking than him should still be able to tell you you're beautiful. If he holds back in order to control the situation, or to keep you, or keep you down, he's got issues.


4. Don't help him ask you out by texting him something nice or polite. I'm glad you're more outgoing and thoughtful than he is, but he doesn't want the help.

5. Guys want to get busy more than anything. They'll say anything to close the deal.


6. It's shocking how much guys will talk about marriage. Until there's a ring on your finger, it will be better for you if you pretend you're deaf.

7. It's better not to lift a finger in the beginning.

8. In the early stages, giving him presents is too much. Generosity looks desperate to guys. You may be a great shopper and gift-wrapper; it may be his birthday and you may be wild about birthdays — even still, he'll think you're just wild about him. Too wild.


9. Guys just do not think like girls. I wish I'd had a brother. Real boys are nothing like the boys in movies.

10. They might take a decade to mature. Don't hope they'll grow up or be ready in the next six months.


11. Even if your family thinks there's going to be a marriage, don't let them spoil your guy. Yes, he's grateful you gave him your car when he moved out of NYC, but he would rather have had to work for it.

12. Learn to cook. Learn to cook well. I see now that it would have won me a lot of points. A LOT.


13. Just because he might be smarter than you or more talented at certain things doesn't mean he's your servant and won't mind doing all your homework/research/chores.

14. Guys get resentful, too.

15. You're special, unique, and important, but you're not a princess — no matter what Daddy says (although for the record, my dad calls me "Erin").


16. It's okay to say no. It's more than okay. It's always okay. If he stops calling (and many, many, many will), you're only weeding out the guys who aren't truly interested in you as a person. Time saved!

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