Traits that gets you Irrisitably Confident

4 Traits Men Find Irresistible

Knowing These Traits Gets You Irrisistably Confident @lovelifesecret

Glossy lips and amazing cleavage will inspire a guy to cross a crowded room, but when it comes to triggering that hit-by-a-truck (in a good way) feeling, less obvious factors are at play. "Although guys might not even realize it, they have several deep-seated fears about commitment that may stop them from pursuing a woman," says Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of Love in 90 Days. "And on a subconscious level, they're instantly attracted to personality traits that put those fears at ease." You likely already possess the tantalizing traits Kirschner is referring to. The trick is knowing how to play them up when you're face-to-face with a worthy guy. Put the following advice into action and the only thing he'll have to be afraid of is falling in love too fast.

*Ignore Him After Five Minutes

You've just met an incredibly gorgeous guy, and he doesn't even have a Brody Jenner–size ego to match. "At this point, a lot of women want to shower the guy with attention because that's how we treat girlfriends we like," Kirschner says. "But that can make a guy feel pressured, and being pressured into a relationship is something many men worry about." The smarter move? Don't act so impressed.

Refusing to be wowed easily will send the message that not only are you not pressuring him, but you may even be slightly out of reach. "Because men are biologically hardwired to be competitive, they need to feel like they're making the choice to be with you and then working toward winning you over," says John Amodeo, PhD, author of The Authentic Heart. "You need to give a guy the space to do that." Instead of focusing on him, pay just as much (and, at times, even more) attention to others around you, advises clinical psychologist Belisa Vranich, PsyD, author of He's Got Potential.

And when he mentions having done something undeniably awesome, like studying abroad in Nepal, resist the urge to gush about how amazing that must have been. Play it cool by maintaining a low-key tone, and challenge him to prove how smart he is by saying "That's a curious choice. What made you decide to go there?" By questioning him (instead of going all awestruck), you'll trigger his competitive instincts.

*Be Comfortable in Your Skin

It doesn't matter how drop-dead sexy your outfit is. If you're not confident about and comfortable with your body, a guy can tell — and be turned off — in a matter of minutes. "If you move with confidence and sensuality, it's a sign that you're going to be just as confident and sensual in the bedroom," Vranich says, "which squashes any worries he might have that he's going to date a hot girl only to find out she's never in the mood." In other words, a perfectly timed lip lick or sensual stretch might as well be catnip for men.

If you're a normally confident chick who can get nervous around guys — especially hot ones — try focusing on little details around you. You can't pay attention to how the bartender is constructing his signature cocktail and psych yourself out at the same time. "Projecting your attention outward instead of inward helps you relax," Kirschner says.

Once you're feeling more comfortable, try dragging your fingers slowly along your collarbone, massaging your neck, or arching your back while letting him see and/or hear (try letting out a little mmm...). When he sees how good you're making yourself feel, he'll subconsciously assume that you're someone who loves to give and get pleasure.

*Show Off Your Playful Side

Okay, so you probably already know that guys go gaga for fun girls and steer clear of chicks who seem uptight. But you'll never guess why. "A lot of guys are afraid that the second they commit to a girl, they'll turn into one of those couples who fight all the time," Kirschner says. A playful attitude shows him you have a sense of humor, and he assumes that any woman who laughs easily is going to be a helluva lot more pleasant to break out the boxing gloves with.

"What do guys do with other guys when they're at odds? They have fun and make fun of each other," says dating coach Evan Marc Katz, author of Why You're Still Single. "Guys don't fight dirty with their male friends; they just mess around." Ideally, that's the way he wants it to be with you.

"Being playful shows that you can reframe bad things in a positive light and laugh at them, not get too worked up about them," Vranich says. If he's wearing a goofy shirt, tease him about it. Or if you spill your wine or say something stupid, laugh it off instead of freezing up. A guy will especially read into how you talk about other relationships, so show him that you're the type who doesn't freak out easily by telling him a funny story about the time your friend's BF totally botched the first meeting with her parents...and how it cracked you up.

*Talk About What You Really Love

That initial conversation you have with him is the perfect time to mention that you just went to your first foreign-film festival or have suddenly become obsessed with running or cooking or whatever. You'll simultaneously be clueing him in to what you like and putting one of men's biggest relationship fears to rest: boredomphobia.

"Men are looking for excitement, they're looking for high energy, they're looking for passion in a relationship," Kirschner says. "So they're inherently more attracted to someone who's thrilled to try new things."

Whether a guy knows it or not, there's a scientific reason why his natural preference for passionate chicks pays off. Studies show that doing something you've never done before leads to the creation of the brain chemical dopamine, which creates feelings similar to romantic infatuation. So if he's with a girl who loves to do fun and interesting things every weekend, the dopamine will keep flowing and they're both more likely to stay madly in love.

To show him that life with you could never be boring, let him know that you're prepared to sell your soul for tickets to see your favorite band in concert next month or that you can make 10 kinds of salsa that are all 100 times better than what's on the bar. In other words, don't hold back when it comes to what you love. He'll be wowed by your enthusiasm — even if he couldn't care less about your obsession.

SECRET KEPT WITHIN MARRIAGES

What No One Ever Admits About Marriage

I have a habit of hiding money from my husband. I’m an accountant, so naturally I’m in charge of handling the household finances. But he’s aware of how much I make—and spend. During tax season, I do a lot of extra work on the side, and instead of depositing the checks, I cash some and treat myself to massages, facials, lunches—basically anything that doesn’t come in a shopping bag that I’d have to explain!” —Marisa, 34

My man is not the most motivated guy in the world, so I bribe him to do things around the house by giving him blow jobs. I currently owe him three for the crown molding he put in the bedrooms!” —Elisa, 29

I’m a staunch feminist, but I took my husband’s last name when we got married. The reason: We’d made a deal that if I did, I could name all of our future children. First and middle names, no questions asked. Not even my mom knows about that deal. Everyone probably thinks I’m a traditionalist deep down.” —Brooke, 28

My husband and I shower together a lot, which isn’t exactly what you’d call a secret. But when we’re in there, I almost always pee. I guess that’s pretty gross, huh?” —Laura, 32

I love when my husband has to go out of town for work. I hear friends talk about how much they miss their husband when he’s gone and how hard it is to juggle everything. I feel neither of those things. When he’s away, it takes me back to the peace of mind I felt when I lived alone. I watch what I want, eat dinner at 10:00 P.M., clean the house—or not. It’s when I get to be Claire, rather than Claire the wife, and I cherish it. Sorry, honey!” —Claire, 30

My husband signed a prenuptial agreement. My family has a lot of money, and since my husband came from practically nothing, they forced me to get him to do it. Wow, I’ve never told anyone that!” —Sarah, 29

OK, I know that this is going to sound cheesy, but I really believe that my husband is my soulmate. I’m lucky to have found him, to be married to my best friend and to be genuinely happy in my relationship. But if I talked about it with the abandon I feel, I’d drive everyone crazy.” —Tracey, 25

Such cases happen in everyone's marriage life we call that's LOVE @lovelifesecret

ALL GIRLS WOULD DIE FOR HAVE MAN LIKE THIS

Be More Like Edward

It’s OK, you can admit it. We know you don’t always pay attention to everything your girlfriend says (she talks a lot), but there's one topic you can’t help but notice.

She seems to talk a lot -- in those nauseating gushing tones no less -- about this Edward Cullen guy. Who is he? You know he’s some dude from that Twilight movie nonsense, but why is your girlfriend acting like a groupie? With the release of the second movie right around the corner (and the consequent two-hour torture you know you’ll be forced to endure right there with it), it’s high time you clued in why women love this dude and why you might want to be a bit more like Edward.

Who is edward anyway?

In short, Edward is every woman’s fantasy. He's handsome, he has a rock-hard body, he’s wealthy, he’s smart, he’s articulate, and he’s kind. He’s perfect -- except for one teeny problem. He’s a vampire and desperately desires the blood of his human girlfriend, Bella.

Of course you’re thinking, “So what? I don’t get it. Why do women love him so much?” Everything just described isn’t too far off from the latest Hollywood A-lister and seems more like something your 13-year-old niece would be obsessed over, not a grown intelligent woman. Well, you’re right. The superficial things listed above aren’t really it. The real reasons women love Edward go much deeper, and are things you can do even better than him.

Edward chooses Bella

In the story, the characters are in high school. Edward could have easily had his choice of any of the girls in school, even the ones deemed absolutely perfect by anyone’s standards. Bella is a typical girl and only sees her shortcomings (sound familiar?). She doesn’t think she is in his league, yet for some reason, one she can’t quite figure out, Edward chooses to be with her.

Be even better than Edward: Make sure she knows you chose her. This is not to say you want to flaunt your desirability in her face (chances are she, like Bella, is well aware), but rather ensure she knows you chose her. No girl wants to think you settled with her or that you’re only with her because there’s no one better right now. She wants to feel special, so let her know that even if you were given any option in the world you’d still choose her.

Edward sacrifices his own comfort to be with Bella

Vampires drink human blood, Bella is awfully tempting, but he denies his thirst to be with her.

Be even better than Edward: Do a little sacrificing of your own. Women think it’s romantic when you willingly (key word is "willingly") give up something for her. It can be something as simple as skipping your typical game night ritual with your buddies to run errands with her, or something more significant such as going to visit her family over the holidays.

Edward has impeccable manners

Edward is always polite and shows proper respect to everyone -- his family, his teachers, even his enemies, and especially the important people in Bella’s life.

Be even better than Edward:
Be a little old-fashioned yourself. Always do the basic chivalrous things your dad taught you: open her doors, help her with her jacket, pull out her chair, walk closest to the street, etc. And don’t do this only for her, but for all women. Show respect not just to your girl, but to the important people in your life and hers.

Edward is a total contradiction

He is a vampire. He should be sadistic and feast on humans. Instead, he is incredibly kind and subsists on the blood of animals to remain humane. Bottom line: he just isn’t what he appears.

Be even better than Edward: Be unpredictable and surprise her. If you’re a manly man who's into the stereotypical guy things, surprise her by developing a domestic hobby such as cooking, or suggesting (and actually enjoying) the occasional chick flick. If you’re a really athletic guy, be a contradiction by suggesting the two of you take dance classes. If you’re not a man of many words, surprise her by expressing yourself through a heartfelt, handwritten letter. Get it? The point is to illustrate you aren’t all that you seem either.

Things can also be done realistically in real life not only those seen in movies @lovelifesecret

5 Ways To Stop Being A Needy Girlfriend

Feeling clingy?

Askmen.com published a story this week about how to transform your needy, clingy girlfriend back into the cool chick she seemingly was when you first met her. Now, before you get all offended, let us tell you two things: 1) the author was a woman (by the name of Sharalyn Hartwell) and 2) we actually agree with her.

Hartwell's argument: That a woman becomes needy only when a man stops making her feel secure in the relationship, and that there are five very simple things a man can do to bring his girlfriend's sense of security back. Among them:

FOR MAN pls note :

1. Do what you say you will do. Call when you say you'll call, make her believe you're a loyal boyfriend with a sense of follow-through.

2. Randomly clue her in. Share what you're thinking when she's not probing you for information, tell her about your thoughts and dreams, make her believe she's worthy of your secret thoughts.

3. Not out of sight, out of mind. Give her a call or drop her a text when you're out with your friends to let her know that she's on your mind even when you're apart.

4. Maintain contact when out together. Catch her eye from across the room you're out together at a party, let her know that you know you have the best date in the room.

5. Prove you're observant. Let her know that you notice her appearance, give her suprise compliments, make it clear you appreciate her.

We like what Hartwell is saying to all the men out there who date clingy women. We think that the needy, clingy women of the world could use some tips of their own, however (after all, the best transformation techniques are those we can oversee ourselves, right?).

FOR WOMAN pls note :

1.Have your own life. Remember what you were like when you and your boyfriend first met? You had friends, hobbies, and lots of things that were not centered around him. Make sure you're still keeping up with those things. Doing so will make you happier, more interesting to him, and less likely to fixate entirely on your relationship.

2. Schedule things out. Having a weekly date night, a monthly day trip, or regular evening text session on both your schedules can give you the sense that things are less amorphous and provide both of you with something to look forward to.

3. Tame those "what if?" demons.

Stop thinking "what if?" every time you're apart (What if he sees a prettier girl while he's at the bar with his friends? What if he's not calling because he's on the phone with his ex? What if, what if, what if). Whenever your anxious thoughts start to spin out of control, remember that "what if?" is a lot less important than WHAT IS. And then remind yourself of what the reality of your relationship is.

4. Remember that you're great.

You're beautiful. You're smart. You're fun. If you weren't, then he wouldn't have started dating you in the first place. Remind yourself from time-to-time of just how amazing you are. Regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not, it will make you feel more secure and centered.

5. Tell him outright. If the reason you're acting clingy is because he's treating you like you don't matter, then it's time for a talk. It may be the case that he doesn't realize how he's making you feel. It may be that he's just not into you anymore. Tell him, and if he refuses to work on making things better, get out.

HAVE CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND HIM @lovelifesecret

7 Phrases Men Love To Hear

Seven compliments that will leave him glowing.

Guys need compliment too Just like You! @lovelifesecret

Whether you're starting a new relationship or already married, there are some things that don't change, like the need to feel sexy, appreciated and needed. And it's not just women who want these things—men do too! Below are seven things you can say to a man, at any stage of your love life, that will leave him glowing.

You look great.
Men have insecurities, just like women. And whether he shows it or not, sometimes he's wondering if his shirt looks better tucked in or out, or if his belly is sticking out a little too far over his belt. This is an especially good compliment if he's been going to the gym—why do you think he's doing all that working out? Guys have Insecurities, Too!

I love your [insert body part].
Sometimes it helps to get specific—see the above tip. And, we're not gonna lie, one of the best fill-in-the-blanks here is, "I love your you-know-what" (or whatever word you can say without laughing or blushing too much.) Men are sensitive about their manly bits and they want to know that you're attracted to what they have. Ways to "Size" A Man Up

I love it when you [insert action].
This is one that can benefit you as much as him. Men are the traditional initiators, and even if your man isn't the one to make the first move, chances are he sometimes feels like he should. If you don't tell him what you like, he's just flying blind. In fact, if you haven't complimented him he might even think you don't like what he's doing. And of course, the more you tell him you love it when he scratches your lower back, or runs your fingers along your chest, the more he'll do it. Who takes the first move?

That woman just checked you out.
Yes, this helps his self-confidence. But it also tells him that you just saw another woman looking at him and you're not afraid to tell him. It shows that you're confident enough to know that he won't be lured away by another gal. Plus, what guy can resist the thought women are giving him the once-over?

You're right.
We all like to be right, men included. And you know what? Sometimes they are. It probably happens less often than he thinks, but when he is right, it's nice to tell him, especially if you were arguing. Sure, it might make you feel a little sheepish, but it's worth it in the end. It'll make him feel good, and showing that you're a reasonable creature who can admit when you're wrong will help temper future disagreements. Things to Say during a Fight.

Will you help me unscrew this?
Men like to feel manly. It might not be PC, but it's ingrained in our culture. Helping women with simple tasks makes them feel macho and noble. We're not saying you should ask him to do things you can easily do yourself, but if you do need assistance, it's a little ego-booster he'll be happy to accept.

You're not going bald.
About one-quarter of men start losing their hair at age 25 and two-thirds have begun balding by 60. Losing his locks is one of a man's greatest fears. So even if he is getting a bit naked up top, tell him he's not. It's the male equivalent of "Do these jeans make me look fat?" No honey, of course not. See Bald as Beautiful

Creative Ways to Deal with Your Mother-In-Law

By Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn, real life married couple and co-authors of You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story

He says: The most creative thing you can do to deal with your mother-in-law is to take pity on her. She had to raise your wife, which could not have been a picnic.

She says: Don't fight it: You will have issues with your mother-in-law. Even if she was your best friend before you married her son, once she becomes your mother-in-law, all bets are off.

He says: Never treat your mother-in-law like your own mother. Some people beatify their dear ole mother-in-laws, while others approach them like they have the plague. Both are bad: Treat your mother-in-law too well and your spouse will resent you for being nicer to her mom than she is. Treat your mother-in-law as if she was Angel of Death and eventually, at some point, your spouse will use it against you, perhaps during your divorce, to prove your lack of character and compassion. Stay safely between treating your mother-in-law like Queen Elizabeth and the Anti-Christ, and you'll be fine.

She says: Be prepared to overreact and develop resentments that may or may not have anything to do with reality. Say she calls you once a day — too much, she's intrusive! Say she calls you once a month — too little, she's remote! She comes over armed with a home-cooked meal for your family: What? She doesn't like your cooking? She comes over and expects you to provide dinner: Isn't she aware that you're working two jobs and don't have any time to spend in the kitchen? Plus, she never likes what you make anyway!

He says: A little goes a long way. I have found that a single, strategically-placed phone call to my mother-in-law on her birthday — one made in advance of my wife's call, during which I successfully deploy my 12-year-old to speak with her by bribing him with a new skateboard — can send her into a state of euphoric gratification.

She says: Always try to apply massive amounts of compassion on a regular basis — like staunching a wound with a very tight tourniquet. On the very few occasions when I've been able to take my own advice, it's due to conjuring an image of my mother-in-law at a younger age, talking to her girlfriends about how she's going to be the best mother-in-law, not at all like her own. I'm having the very same conversations with my friends now, knowing I'll be in the same position as my mother-in-law some day. It's like working out: I hate it while I'm on the treadmill, but I'm so happy that I've done it later.

He says: Don't be afraid to use the “L Word.” No matter what happens during visitations or family gatherings, if there was tension, a misunderstanding or a drunken knock-down brawl, ending it with “I love you” will help to cure it. I try to end all of my mother-in-law phone calls with “Love you, Shirley.” It even makes me feel good to say it, so I know it must do something constructive on the other end.

She says: Have a secret weapon in your arsenal. I happen to have a poor housekeeping habit. I'm not proud of it; however, there has been an unexpected benefit: My mother-in-law doesn't like to come visit, because our house isn't clean enough for her. Since the one time she came to our house, not long after we got married, and exhausted herself sanitizing our kitchen, she sticks to inviting us to visit her home instead.

He says: Make sure to remember to include your mother-in-law on Mother's Day. It's just one freakin' day. Send a card, some flowers, go out to brunch — just text her for gosh sakes. My mother-in-law lives over 3000 miles away, so brunch at some over-priced egg joint that serves Mimosas, egg-white omelets and turkey bacon is not an option.

Tiny Steps to BALANCING is the keyword @lovelifesecret

Pretty in a Picture

How to Be More Photogenic in
5 Easy Steps :

Talk about a topic that never gets old! We're constantly looking for ways to look better in pictures. Aren't you?

Practise makes Perfect , you never try you never know@lovelifesecret

Are you fed up with the same unflattering mug shot? Do you scan through online albums, your finger at the ready to de-tag yourself? You're not alone. Plenty of people aren't comfortable in front of the camera, resulting in dull, awkward mementos of life's best moments. But it doesn't have to be that way. New York–based fashion photographer Keith Lathrop says it's all about knowing your body. “Everyone has his or her best angle, so you're going to have to play a bit to find yours,” he says. With that in mind, we've rounded up a host of expert tips on how to look your best in front of the lens. From makeup application to hand placement, you'll be primed and ready for the paparazzi in no time.

1. Know Your Angles

According to Lathrop, it's all about the angle. “The basic rule of thumb is the three-quarter angle,” he says. “Whether you're sitting or standing, you always want to position your shoulders and hips at an angle to the camera.” By doing this, you're inadvertently masking a quarter of your body, instantly creating a slimmer profile. Plus, you avoid the square-shoulder, bland look of a straight-forward photo. The same technique should be applied when sitting. Lathrop recommends crossing your legs at the knee. Make sure the leg facing the camera is on top—it'll elongate your gams and reduce the appearance of cellulite.

2. Strike a Pose

Not sure what to do with your hands? Lathrop says that placing a simple hand on the hip gives off the perfect, casual vibe. “Shifting your weight to one foot and placing your hand on your hip gives the body more dimension,” he says. Use your body to your advantage. If you're thicker in the middle, try placing your hand at the waistline—not hip—to accentuate the smallest part of your waist.

3. Keep It Neutral

Photographers and makeup artists agree: Stick to neutrals. Whether it's your clothing or makeup, opt for warm, neutral hues that will complement your skin instead of highlighting its flaws. Lathrop recommends shades of brown, yellow and orange for clothing. Makeup artist Travis Culberson, the resident guru for The Tyra Banks Show, notes that most women look best in a peachy-pink makeup palette. The neutral rule applies to undergarments, too. Try to keep them skin-toned so you don't have any fashion mishaps, especially under the harsh light of a flash.

4. Cleanse and Blend

The trade secret to a flawless photo? Clean, clear skin. Culberson says to start off with a beautiful base: “You should always remove makeup with a makeup remover, and gently cleanse, tone and moisturize the skin.” Then, he recommends ditching the concealer and using a tinted moisturizer to even out skin tone and lighten the appearance of freckles and discoloration. He adds, “You should always wear makeup that is comfortable for you to apply.” Bronzers can also provide a big complexion boost—just be sure to keep shimmery varieties away from your T-zone and blend around the jaw and down your neck.

5. The Ultimate Accessory

We know you've heard it before, but we're going to say it again: Confidence is the best accessory. Under the hard focus of the lens, it's easy to let your insecurities bubble to the surface. “People tend to show tension across their brow and mouth,” Lathrop says. “An easy way to relax these muscles is to smile real wide and release, then raise your brows nice and high and release.” We know it's tough to keep your expression natural while waiting for the photo to be snapped, so always ask for a count of “1, 2, 3, Cheese!”